Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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