didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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