i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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