We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
