So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
