Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
