What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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