I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize