I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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