I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
