god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
