I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
