Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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