Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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