Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
do herpes really smell.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
