The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
