I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sober January is a disaster.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
