Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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