covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
