So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
