My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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