Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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