Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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