I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just crazy horny about you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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