We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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