I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
