saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
