So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
