Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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