So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize