If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
