Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Me too!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
