i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
