I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
