It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
