If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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