You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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