yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
