2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i now understand why vodka
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
