if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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