no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
