covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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