we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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