Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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