I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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