Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's a Shit stain on my heart
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Bring me that man meat
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
