omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
