I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
time to smoke my breakfast
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
