Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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