I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
