I think my vagina is haunted
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
