I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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