is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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