i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
