dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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