I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
